Is THIS it?

This blog is the first in a series written for mid-life women everywhere – women who want to believe in new beginnings not endings.  Women who want the next phase of their lives to be as good, or better, than anything they have experienced so far.

What is Mid Life?

In our image and age obsessed society it is high time that attention was paid to women in the middle phase of their lives.  For the record ‘mid’ can mean anything from mid 40’s through to late 50’s.  The important point is that if you feel as if you are in this new phase then you probably are. One of the things I hear more than anything else from my clients is that at some point during this period they start to feel invisible to the world.  In fact, one client said it is like living life in the cupboard under the stairs!

I saw this quote the other day which made me smile:

Have I lost weight? No. Am I wearing a burka? No. Have I slipped into a parallel universe?  No. Am I a mutant? No. I have simply turned 46. Sarah Vine

Proudly visible in an invisible segment of society

I prefer to describe myself as a proudly visible member of the most invisible segment of our society – mid-life women.  Whilst some women might tell you there are lots of advantages to being invisible as you can disappear into the background without having to ‘try’ very hard, I don’t personally buy it!  Most of the women I meet want to be vibrant and alive and embrace the changes that are happening to them rather than mourning the loss of youth.  They just need a bit of help to get there.

I want to demonstrate to you that aging is an ‘Attitude’ of mind and give you some practical ideas in my next few blogs.  You have a choice to feel good about yourself or disappear into the shadows.

Which do you want?

Making Time for You this Year – The 8 Benefits of Going on Retreat

I am writing this blog whilst taking some time out for me in Venice. I am here for a whole month, something I have never done before. Of course, it took some planning, and it doesn’t need to be a whole month, yet making time in your busy life to take some time out to go on a retreat is one of the finest gifts you can give to yourself.

In our busy professional lives where there is no time to think or to feel, a retreat is an investment in your health and in your personal relationship with yourself. A retreat will give you a chance to pause and look at your life from a new perspective and often unlock answers to the questions that you just may not take the time to ask. Even the word ‘retreat’ comes from the Latin verb ‘to pull back’. Here are the reasons why I think that retreats are becoming very popular in the annual diaries of busy professional people:

1. Unplug from your daily routine to PLUG BACK into you.

In our busy lives, there is very little or no free time! Time on retreat is different. There is no more rush. Retreats take us away from the usual distractions such as cell phones, computers, work and family. Letting go of distractions, gives us a whole new perspective where we may reflect on how we are living our lives and what it is that we really want. Instead of having your energy pulling in multiple directions you can gather all your energy to focus on YOU.

2. You learn something TRANSFORMATIONAL

You often get the opportunity to learn something new that you do not normally have the time to do. For example, on our retreats you get the opportunity to work with me to learn more about one of the world’s most effective technologies for change – Neuro Linguistic Programming as well as some of the latest neuro science on how to change mind-sets to transform your life. I also invite special guests, who give practical advice about how to eat healthily and exercise to achieve sustainable fat loss. These sessions provide you with a blue-print for your life that you can immediately apply.

3. You get INSPIRED

From this place of head-space and time, you are much more likely to find inspiration. Getting away from it all gives you focus on what it is that inspires you, whether it be what you want to do next with your life, kick-starting your first book or coming up with a business plan for your new initiative. It’s a frame of mind that can come from a change of scenery and emotional state. Creativity and inspiration happen when you take the time away from your day job to remember your dreams.

It’s actually a strategic choice in that it re-focuses your life on what is most important to you and on your strengths.

4. You get to LISTEN and OBSERVE

Whatever type of retreat you are on, you get to listen and observe. Because, depending on where you are, there’s no phone, kids, TV, staff and limited or no WiFi.

In this space you have created, you get to hear the sound of the internal voice in your head allowing you to become the observer of your thoughts. You get to spend time in nature and notice the sounds that usually pass you by. Most importantly you get to feel what is important in your heart.

5. Live in a HEALTHIER way

Everyone needs to unload, clean out and empty their mental desktop. On retreat, you can eat well, rejuvenate through sleep and take some gentle exercise. You will leave a retreat feeling lighter, clearer, recharged, refreshed, and more present. This new perspective can guide you to make changes in your life that you know you need and want to make.

6. Lose the FEAR

There’s a safety in the busy-ness that comes from putting your head down and throwing yourself into the day-to-day responsibilities of running a business, working in a large corporation, managing a family and so on. Yet, this safety can lead to stagnation. There is real value to learning and absorbing, having time to sit and think. It’s the real work of change that can provide you with the courage to do something different.

7. Remember Who YOU Are

Society wants you to be the mother, father, sister, wife, husband, daughter, son, friend, lover.

On retreat, you can drop all the roles. You are an individual and you can just be you maybe for the first time in years.

8. Find Your TRIBE

On retreat, you are likely to meet other people in a similar position to you. Professionals with a range of skills. They came on retreat to learn something new, consider their next steps in life, find a healthier way of living, discover a creative flame, rest, discover community and have fun. You don’t know what you don’t know–and sometimes you need other people to help you see things differently. On retreat, everyone’s goals are taken seriously. This inspires you to do more of your own thing once you leave.


Feeling inspired? Did you know that the more you make time to prioritise self-nurturing practices into your life, the more EVERYONE around you benefits? Even if it’s only for a weekend, you will leave feeling recharged and rejuvenated and able to face the stresses of normal life in a much more resourceful way.

If you are interested in taking a retreat this summer, I am launching my first Age with Attitude Mind & Body Retreat from the 8 – 10th September at the luxurious Paramour Grange in Kent. This 3-day weekend includes daily transformational personal development sessions in Neuro Linguistic Programming led by myself and Kim Raine, founder of ‘Mibosolife’ who will tell you the honest truth about how to achieve sustainable fat loss and how to live a healthy life. More information and registration here: Age with Attitude Mind & Body Retreat.

Its all about ME!

If only this was the case and all we had to think about was ourselves! Women often sacrifice themselves for their children, husbands, parents and friends. It is well know that women are more likely to put other people’s feelings above their own. Making time for YOU is one of the most important changes you […]

The Power of our Thoughts

Last time we explored the connection between purpose, happiness and results.  Now I want to introduce you to the concept of the power of our thoughts.  I believe that we alone determine whether our goals will be successful or not. The first thing I would like you to consider is that our reality or the world that we live in can be redefined. In fact, everything can be redefined. It is never too late to have a successful life.  Our world and what is or isn’t possible in it can be redefined because everything that you see around you has been created by you. Everything!

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What’s the link between purpose, happiness and results in your life?

I wanted to write some more about purpose and the connection in life between between Purpose, Happiness and Results. I feel so passionately about this as it will determine the quality of our lives from now on.

A question for you….How fulfilled and engaged are you in your work or, if you are not in work, in your life overall? Over the summer I have been have been researching ideas by other writers such as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, world famous psychologist who wrote the book ‘The State of Flow’ and the causes of happiness, academics such as Paul Hannam and coach Mickey Feher who recently wrote on a similar topic. Read more

Are You Living Your Life with Purpose and Passion?

Let’s talk about purpose for a moment.
Do you remember a time in the past when you were totally focused with goals that really excited you? When you knew exactly what you were going for and no one was going to stop you? Maybe you were working on a really important project at work or determined to assist your child through their exams, or even had your future partner in your sights? Allow yourself to go back to that time now. Remember that sense of determination and how in control of your life you felt. Wasn’t that a wonderful feeling? Well, this Attitude is all about making those feelings a permanent fixture in your life and enabling you to live your life on purpose (in other words, as if you really mean it!) from this point onwards. Read more

How to overcome the human bias for negativity

You might think you’re weird when a thousand good things happen but you focus on the one bad thing. You’re not. That’s the way our brains are hardwired. We’re designed by nature to pay more attention and react more quickly and more strongly to negative than to positive news. This tendency to give more weight to the negative is called negativity bias and is defined as “the propensity to attend to, learn from, and use negative information far more than positive information.”  From the dawn of human history, our very survival depended on our skill at dodging danger. The brain developed systems that would make it unavoidable for us not to notice danger and thus, hopefully, respond to it.  It is often a relief to know that your brain is designed to behave in this way.  However, it is still an issue as far too many people become self-critical as a result.

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The Importance of Mothers

Sandwiched in between International Women’s Day and Mother’s Day I felt compelled to write this today.  I haven’t written over the last month or so.  One of the main reasons is that my mother, Gladys Agness, has been very ill and sadly she died on the 4th March.  I wanted to dedicate these words to her. Read more

Re-Vitalise Your Life Retreat

AWA Mind & Body Retreat: 8th – 10th September 2017 at Paramour Grange! With Lindsey Agness and Guests


This retreat offers you the unique opportunity to step back from your day-to-day busyness of work and family commitments. From the moment you arrive at the retreat until you leave, world-class facilitator Lindsey Agness and her guests will lead you on an exploration to uncover and re-vitalise the amazing woman that you are. You will have the space to take stock and give yourself time to think about where you want to be heading in your life.

There are three levels of investment:

  • Package 1: £750 for those women who live locally and can travel in each day (excludes accommodation and includes all meals)
  • Package 2: £900 for those women who are happy to share a room or maybe come with a friend and share (includes all meals and accommodation)
  • Package 3: £1000 for those who want the luxury of their own private space ie the Painted Room or The Brass bedroom. (includes all meals and accommodation)

Is it time for you to invest in yourself?  It is often said that the ‘only way for you to predict your future is to create it’’.  If it is time to create yours, then select your choice of package now.

“The retreat really improved my self-confidence. As result I pursued a promotion at work and won. I thoroughly enjoyed the retreat and it has really helped me to improve my life. ‘’ Susan from Wokingham


Change Your Life 10 Month Journey

Change Your Life 10 Month Journey


AWA ‘Change Your Life’ 10 Month Journey

Our unique design has all the ingredients for creating the permanent changes you want to make in your life – face to face training sessions where you learn alongside like-minded women, coaching to keep you on track in between each training session and membership of an on-line community of women to share success stories and give mutual assistance long after the programme has finished.

Lindsey Agness, Master Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming is the lead trainer with other guests. It is for women who believe in beginnings not endings.

Why would you want to be there?

  • Are you feeling stuck, unable to move in any direction because you have no idea how?
  • Have you tried to make changes before but run out of motivation part-way through?
  • Would you like to work at your own pace over a 10 month period?
  • Do you want to learn from the experts?
  • Would you like your own coach to help you make the changes stick?
  • Would you like to meet a like-minded group of women and make life-long friends?

What exactly is included?

You get 10 days of face to face training split into four separate modules spread over a 10 month period with coaching in between each module. Lunches and refreshments are included at each venue. Accommodation, if required, is additional.

The programme is built around Lindsey’s unique concept of the 8 Attitudes of the Successful Mid-Life Woman designed to develop focus, build self-belief, self-esteem, confidence, motivation and strength to do something different – whether that be taking up new interests, making new friends, losing weight, dealing with relationship challenges or whatever else you want to change about your life!

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